Grinning from ear to ear

God gave me a little glimpse of hope today; my body began working on it's own. No need to provide you with TMI today, but I'm elated to physically see some progress. I've been praying all evening that He help me control my emotions. I don't want to get too excited and be upset if next month nothing happens, but I also want to celebrate success in something working. Praise God!!!

Baby Steps

So far, this week is off to a good start. I've been very conscious about what I'm eating and getting exercise in every night. Sometimes I'm just doing aerobics and others I do a little aerobics as a warm-up for the elliptical. I can't make it that long on the elliptical, but I'm slowly increasing my time. I've hoping Sunday shows good progress with the weight. Kim and I check ourselves each Sunday morning and tell each other if we were up or down. So far in six weeks I've lost six pounds. While it's not grandious by any means, it's steps in the right direction! :)

Little Distractions

I'm remaining focused on other things in my life right now, which is helping me cope with my infertility blues. I've been working out like a maniac and seeing a slight loss (5.5 lbs. to date). This, not only is helping me physically, but it's helping me emotionally. Keeping focused on this really helping. While it's not the major loss I'd like to see, I'm confident it'll get kick-started soon.

Another distraction this past week was a purchase of a professional, SLR digital camera and all the zooms, filters, etc. to accompany. I'm really excited to have a nice camera to take the fam's photos and others for fun. I'd like to just play around with it and see what I can do. Since we have a lot of friends with adorable kids and a backyard full of flowers, I'm thinking I'll have plenty of practice shooting this spring.

"I Believe in Miracles"

One month later, nothings happening on our end - oh, except for the fact three friends just informed me within about two weeks they are preggers... seriously! I'm sure I'm just noticing this b/c of the fact I'm not.

Went to my OB-GYN this week for my annual check-up, and he informed me that my infertility specialist sent him my file and recommendation, which consisted of either two rounds and artificial insemination (would total about $2,200 out of pocket) or IVF, which I don't even want to think about the cost... most likely $20-30,000. I let this bother me for, oh, about 10 minutes. The thought was depressing and hopeless. Then, I realized I cannot focus on this, b/c it's rules out the fact God can do anything. So, I'm continuing to believe in miracles since God hasn't closed any doors for us.

Just trying to focus on other things like my weight issue. So far, so good. I've lots four pounds in two weeks and I'm hoping this trend continues.

So, on this Valentine's Day, I may not have a baby to love, but I have a fabulous husband, family and friends who I love and they love me so much, are praying for us. For this I am grateful.

Peaceful, easy feeling

I'm surprising myself. God is really giving me lots of peace, and my emotions have been stable this week. Right after we learned we weren't pregnant, we learned Kim's friend's mom passed away. This really has put things into perspective for us and given something else to think about this week.

It's been nice not jumping right in to meds and beginning my countdown days. :)

Staying positive, while not

So, we got the news today that we're not preggers. It was a tough one; they don't get easier. After many, many tears... I'm doing much better. While it wasn't the answer I was hoping for, I'm at peace about it.

I had an amazing talk with Kim about it, and we're going to hold off on things for a while. We're not setting a timeline at the moment.

We'll just chill out on the hormone meds, let my body try and create the ones I need for once in my life, save our money for future appointments and get healthy. Pregnant or not, I have to loose some weight... who knows that might help! Kim's been doing great working out also and eating better, so it's helping.

More to come on this issue when we know what to do. Until then, we're still trusting in God to do miracles and praying. I know it's not a closed door, but I don't know where the open one is or when it will come... but it WILL come!

Faithful Myrtle

So, I just need to get some things off my chest. I learned today and yesterday that a co-worker's wife and my really good coworker friend are both expecting. I hate to say I'll be dreading the lunch conversation each day, because that isn't true, but it's so hard to swallow. I truly am very happy for them both! I constantly pray that bumps like this in the road won't get me down and that I remain positive. So far, so good... but it's so hard to hear all the time.

I recently read an excerpt of my mom's devotional, which talked about how God is always opening doors. And how we just need to realize this and be ready for the next door in His timing. I 100 percent agree God is in control of this situation, and since He hasn't closed any doors, I'm putting my faith forward and believing He'll open one for Kim and I for a baby. I'm not overly anxious and impatient as I once was... it's just the emotional side of it that can get to you, ya know!

So, while I'm not Fertile Myrtle like most people I know and am surrounded by, I am a Faithful Myrtle and will continue to pray my faith continues and my attitude stays good.

Proverbs 3:5-6 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight."